General Category > Huh?

Let's get serious for a moment.

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Pigmeat:
The penguins are getting ready to start their migration back from the Arctic to the Antarctic soon. Are you prepared? Do you have heavy steel helmets to protect your family from low flyers, shot dense enough to discourage the angriest Emperor penguins as they dive at terminal velocity, their dense, hardened, depleted uranium beaks aimed directly at your eyes or the soft spot on your newborn baby's head? (I recommend 10 gauge buck and ball, lead only, from that gauge of gun from any reputable maker, to deal with the death diving baby killers.) On the ground, they're slow, but launching themselves from the water or diving from the air, deadly.

Remember to stay away from any body of water during the migration season. That cute water feature in your backyard could be the death of you if walk out to see what all the noise is? Pierced by a penguin isn't a pretty way to go out, yet thousands perish that way twice a year. Remember to be careful this season, stay away from the water, and look up.


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ChrisSmolinski:
I suggest surrounding your yard with trenches. In a pinch, they can be turned into moats. Alligators find penguins delicious.

Pigmeat:

--- Quote from: ChrisSmolinski on August 09, 2022, 1614 UTC ---I suggest surrounding your yard with trenches. In a pinch, they can be turned into moats. Alligators find penguins delicious.

--- End quote ---


That's no good. There's not enough gators to hold them off. Why, the antenna fields of WRMI used to be full of gators. These day's they're a penguin paradise. Penguins can gang up on gators rendering your moat, moot. Moats create more penguin habitat.

That hippo that was running loose in the swamps out back of Tampa a few years back suggests possibilities. A hippo could trample them to death while scooping the surplus up in it's gargantuan mouth to deal with later.

If penguins ever get established in the Great Lakes, I feel sorry for George Zeller. Hippos won't range that far north, while you can find penguins at the Equator. The Great Lakes are doomed.

skeezix:
If they make it up to the Great Lakes area, I've got a grill & a smoker all ready for 'em. In a pinch the oven can do.

Pigmeat:
Ernst Shackleton's men were forced to eat them while stranded in Antarctica waiting for Ernst to get back with help from the South Georgia whaling stations. To a man they reported they were the foulest tasting fowl they'd ever encountered.

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