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Topics - Pigmeat

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Nothing but non-stop thunderstorms and flash floods here. Hope it was better for the rest of you folks.

Huh? / Carlisles's Manatee finances it's own research!
« on: May 16, 2018, 2347 UTC »
We recorded some of her "songs" and Progressive Insurance is using one for some commercials. They wrote some words to make it saleable and hired some singers, but it's not bad stuff for an elderly manatee. She's getting nets of krill for it, Progressive isn't a bunch of pikers!

Al, with the extra infusion of cash we're looking for a tank cleaner. Are you interested? Flo sunbathes out there sometimes buddy, here's your chance.

west of the Sierra's needs to be signed over to us for safekeeping.

Huh? / I got a plum NOAA job for the summer!
« on: April 21, 2018, 1418 UTC »
Tagging and releasing Carlisle's Manatee's to determine their migration and mating habits. The one we're currently watching, Belinda, behaves very oddly. When released it swims to the nearest cosmetic surgeon demanding they "lift and tuck everything!" Who knew manatees could talk?

Huh? / Al, what brand of digital tire pressure gauge...
« on: April 15, 2018, 1047 UTC »
do you recommend? O'Reilly's is blowing out the ones the evil Chinese dumped on us for nearly nothing.

Huh? / Al, You could have been a Mudd Man.
« on: April 07, 2018, 2032 UTC »
A friend's wife is a distant relative of the late Harv. If I'd only known way back when, you wouldn't have had to settle for that  back-up school, you would have received a free ride to Mudd.

Sorry, but I didn't know she was part Mudd until Thursday night. I thought she was that Dirt guy's long-lost sister? She's related to the Clay's of Kentucky, too, but I steer clear of it. It's still a sticky matter with the Mudd's.

Huh? / Al, that was quite a wipeout off Santa Monica...
« on: April 05, 2018, 2247 UTC »
this afternoon, the reports called it "Earthshaking!". Are you all right?

Aren't you getting a little old for that longboard pier-shooting?

Huh? / Al, did you get that Tesla Roadster...
« on: February 07, 2018, 1357 UTC »
I sent you yesterday? The guy promised same day delivery.

Huh? / Happy Groundhog Day!
« on: February 02, 2018, 1007 UTC »
The most wonderful day of the year.

Is their any animal that deserves it's own day more, rising up majestically from munching on clover in fields and along roadsides to say "Howdy!" to any and all passersby, brightening peoples days? Nay, just the noble Groundhog!

Hail the Groundhog, harbinger of Spring and filler of bellies! Hail!

Huh? / Al, imagine it's 1981 again. Who's cuter, Belinda Carlisle
« on: January 26, 2018, 0258 UTC »
or Toni Basil?

Huh? / Nothing about the death of Keith Jackson?
« on: January 14, 2018, 0525 UTC »
The greatest sports announcer of all time? Whoa Nellie! You're in trouble with the boys down at the morgue now, Al. Whee doggies, I wouldn't wan't to be you! It'll be worse than a Georgia Dawg getting run over by a Hawaiian warrior riding his surfboard on the crest of a great Crimson Tide when they get through with you. Yes, indeedeedee!

RIP Keith. You and Frank Broyles were the most entertaining thing on the air from September to Dec, (plus bowls), Saturday afternoons, free on ABC. The Abbott and Costello of college football. It was great TV.

Huh? / Al, the CES is over, we've got work to do.
« on: January 11, 2018, 2221 UTC »
Northrop-Grumman has been pestering me non-stop over "Zuma". I keep telling them it's not our fault they wanted to blast their last copy of that Neil Young and Crazy Horse classic into space with via that funny lookin' South African kid. Then there's this woman named Tonya that keeps calling for you. She says the "Nancy Incident" is behind her and she wants to reconcile? I mentioned Belinda and the Twin cousins, but she said she's already made them an offer they found they couldn't refuse. It looks like you've got yourself a woman after all.

As for these N-G boys, you speak Geek. Can you tell them A) They're not getting my copy of Zuma; and B) If I do sell, I want gold bullion, not "bitcoins" whatever the Hell those are? They offered to give me all of the bitcoins in existence on a thumb drive for Zuma, but if they're that bitty, they can't be worth spit. I paid nearly six bucks for that album in 1976 money.

How's a genius to remain stable with all this pressure? No wonder you wear foil beanie and Don wears a dead cat on his head?

Huh? / Al, why do I have to hear about your misadventures second hand?
« on: December 30, 2017, 0111 UTC »
Young Porkchop called to wish me a Merry Christmas when he informed me of you tangling with a bunch of stick wielding penguins at an ice arena in the Tampa Bay region this past Columbus Day. He said you still owe him for bail. I told hm to get in line as you still owed me for those women's Mormon drawers. Porkchop wanted to know why you wore Mormon ladies drawers, but  told him it was a long and sordid story. He think it's side effect of that gator swallowing you.

A) Why can't you leave those little harmless birds alone? and B) Why won't you pay your debts?

One for you, me, and our cousin Jerry Lee, the latter as an apology for the abysmal way he and his bride were treated there in 1958. JL gets to escort the Queen as her husband and second cousin, Prince Phil isn't up to it.

Bunch of hypocrites, Jerry Lee and Myra were third cousins and they ruined his career. Not a word in the British press about the Windsor Hillbillies rompin' around Buckingham Palace cranking out congenital idiots at the drop of a hat. No wonder we whupped 'em in two wars, and had to bail 'em out twice when they went messin' around with a bunch of Germans in pointy hats. Pathetic! I hope Jerry Lee cops a feel mid-ceremony or at least steals her purse.

You want to make it triple wedding with your GF and SO, Al? I've still got those Mormon wedding drawers in the box. A free hitchin' by the Archbishop of Canterbury at Westminster Cathedral and a pre and post wedding wagon ride. I betcha one of those Beefeaters would loan you his beaver hat to go down the aisle in.

When I give the girls away and go to my place among the attendants, I'll be sure to holler out "Atta Boy, Al!" when you do that double "I do". I'm not letting some funny looking kid steal your thunder. The acoustics in Westminster Cathedral are amazing, ever live mic within miles should be able to hear me. It will be glorious day on the planet.

That Harry kid perplexes me. He doesn't look a damn thing like his father or his mother. Probably a recessive gene popping up due to all that in and interbreeding among European nobility? We know his Daddy couldn't get any action if he had 100 pound notes glued to his forehead, and his mother was pure as the driven snow.

North American MW Pirate Radio / Blaster on 1710 AM....
« on: December 03, 2017, 0236 UTC »
12/2/17 on at 1:30 UTC w/ "Another One Bites The Dust". About 20 over on nuthin' but the ferrite.

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