for one of your "Geek-Cons" hit the local exotic animal stores and pick me up a half dozen female penguins and a couple of males. I've got an idea about introducing them to the lower St. Lawrence estuary to fill the niche the extinct puffin population left in the food chain.
Doing good sure beats bitching about poor wireless. Plus, your stalking of Wozniak and Draper is getting noticed. Everyone is wondering how you can stand being downwind of those two notorious non-bathers?