Kidd, I think he should play Warren Zevon's "Lawyer's, Guns, and Money" 24/7 because it's certainly hit the fan.
Honduras might be a nice place for Ralph to spend his final years. The age of of consent is 15 there. The downside is everyone that can get their hands on a gun there carries one, and honor killings are part of life. If ol' Ralph goes sniffing around after young Ana, he could be meeting Jesus twice, once when Papa shoots him, and again at the Pearly Gates.