Two possible "alien" discoveries, one common cause.

[Pigmeat]

Recently brine and methane were detected on Mars. Results are now in, the brine comes from jars of pickled eggs, the methane from a pickled egg loving repairman sent to fix the Mars Rover by the United States secret space program.

1600 light years away news broke that a giant "alien" structure may surround a star in our galaxy. Wrong. The same repairman forgot to take down the tarps after painting said star.

However, the true nature of the Kepler Space Telescope has been revealed. It's purpose is to keep an eye on the handiwork of the CalTech grads JPL hires to keep all of creation from flying apart. Due to the rise of private space companies, JPL's pool of potential employees has decreased significantly. JPL has found themselves having to dip into the "special" scientist pool at CalTech aka "Fansome's". Due to their limitations Fansome's have to be closely monitored, thus the true mission of Kepler.

Remember CalTech grads, don't be a Fansome, clean up after you've finished the job.