Al, I've got my cap set on a Geek Goddess....

[Pigmeat]

and I don't think the course on "How To Pick Up Girls" at good ol' Trump U. will work. I've got a feeling she'd crack my skull if I tried lifting her from there, and she's not a simple large bladdered "model" from the Slavic world you can just toss money at. This is going to to take some skill.

I'm thinking about showing up at her house in one of my best Nudie suits with flowers and my dobrolele warbling out Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call". All Geek Goddesses have seen "Mars Attacks!" and proof of my ability to defend a woman from just such an invasion is bound to score big points with her, plus make her evil guardian's head explode. The man has blind spot when it comes to Slim and I suspect he is not of this world. (I've got to get him outside so she's not distracted by the mess. The pythons and gators will take care of what's left.)

Now, do I launch straight into Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game"? Or do wait until the next day when I stop by with a box of candy and a box of kittens, in my of top line Nudie, with an old Gibson acoustic that has "Lets Get Hitched!" in cut-out letters on the back for the grand finale as Earnest Tubb himself might have done? I think I'll go the Tubb route. Earnest half brother, Wash, was uglier than homemade sin, but he had women fighting over him from following Brother Earn's method.

To be a perfect gentleman, I'll wait until her guardian's funeral is over and the grave has been filled before launching into, "I'm Walking The Dirt Over You." accompanied by the Palmer Peninsula Yearling Penguin Marching Kazoo Corps. Heck, we might do "Drivin' Nails In My Coffin" for you when your time comes? I know how fond you are of the little fellers.

[MDK2]

Now, do I launch straight into Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game"? Or do wait until the next day when I stop by with a box of candy and a box of kittens, in my of top line Nudie, with an old Gibson acoustic that has "Lets Get Hitched!" in cut-out letters on the back for the grand finale as Earnest Tubb himself might have done? I think I'll go the Tubb route. Earnest half brother, Wash, was uglier than homemade sin, but he had women fighting over him from following Brother Earn's method.

I endorse this course. You don't want to come on too strong and seem like you're desperate, after all.

[Pigmeat]

You can never go wrong with Earnest.

[Josh]

Large bladder?

[Pigmeat]

Don likes a woman with a big bladder. More coverage when she sprays.

[Pigmeat]

Well this went easier than I thought. I called her up while the old grouch who stole her from the cradle was at Golden Corral for the "Early Bird Special", warbled out "Rose Marie", and she agreed to boot the coot on the spot. When she saw how much I resembled a young Slim Whitman via Skype, I could hear her swoon. (I have that effect on women, it's been known to cause wrecks.)

Ol' What's His Name is out and I'm in. Too bad for him........ not!

[ka1iic]

Is this an inner or outer course with deep penetration into the subject or is it a basic 'blubber and drool' course requiring a swim suit?

Just asking...

[Pigmeat]

Watch how you talk about my woman, you Maineiac! I'm not as even-tempered as Al. My relatives are moose-ridin' fools who live by the feud, I'll set the pack of heathens on you. Besides we're not talking about that beluga, Belinda.

Personally I live by the TV, but to each his own. Now for a little serenading, "Huckle up, baby, huckle up all night long......"

[Josh]

Surely she'll check out your bona fides and pater familias.

[Pigmeat]

I am the Pater Familia. Brought up from birth to succeed Grandpa who came from a long line of them. I've got a cane with a brass knob that will flatten skulls that signifies my office. Al has bakelite. You saw where that gets you.

My bona fides have been confirmed by the Daughters of The American Revolution and the First Families of Virginia. I'm a descendant of that wild-assed boy of Pocahontas, Tommy Rolfe, through my ancient relatives. I'm a regular Tyro that whips grizzly bears and gators and eats them whole. I won't go into my connections to Dan'l Boone for fear of shaming the board.

I really ought to have myself crowned King of America, but that ain't my style. You saw where being the grandson of the Emperor Norton got Al. Out the door and his cheap knobs on the lawn when his women hear me roar.

[Josh]

Neat! I think the only famous (male) people in my lineage are a President of the Confederacy, Noah, and Adam.

[Pigmeat]

Neat! I think the only famous (male) people in my lineage are a President of the Confederacy, Noah, and Adam.

I think one of my Great-Granddaddies knew your Great-Granddaddy. He said, and I quote, "Take off that dress Jeff, you ain't got the legs for it."

[kcpr]

Neat! I think the only famous (male) people in my lineage are a President of the Confederacy, Noah, and Adam.

I think one of my Great-Granddaddies knew your Great-Granddaddy. He said, and I quote, "Take off that dress Jeff, you ain't got the legs for it."

Hmmm I learned two things today Josh and I must be related some how and my sartorial habits are hereditary !

[John Poet]

Don likes a woman with a big bladder. More coverage when she sprays.

She can probably outlast us old guys on road trips... between stops...

[Josh]

You know who HFUmatches will match him up with.