I could never figure out how the Cubans and the Nicaraguans got to the States in the first place in the original. A secret invasion force floated in on inner tubes from Cuba and the Nicaraguans hitchhiked up?
I figure it went somethin' like this.........
The Mexican - US border, 1982;
"No Jefe',we're not Nicaraguan troops,we're varmint hunters headed for the alto plano."
A stoic border agent,we'll call him Al, replies, "Gopher killers, 'eh? Since that Carl guy went on that rampage in California,it's been hard to get kids to go into the field. I guess someone has to do it,you can barely go for a walk in the yard without stepping in a hole."
"Let me check your paperwork gentlemen,I'll be right back."
"Si' Jefe'."
A few minutes later,the agent returns.
"Senor Ortega?"
"Si'."
"Everything checks out. Welcome to the United States. Feel free to write your gopher exterminating friends at home the door is always open to men of their profession."
"Si',Jefe',si'! Heh,heh,heh...... "