Let's get serious for a moment.

[Pigmeat]

The penguins are getting ready to start their migration back from the Arctic to the Antarctic soon. Are you prepared? Do you have heavy steel helmets to protect your family from low flyers, shot dense enough to discourage the angriest Emperor penguins as they dive at terminal velocity, their dense, hardened, depleted uranium beaks aimed directly at your eyes or the soft spot on your newborn baby's head? (I recommend 10 gauge buck and ball, lead only, from that gauge of gun from any reputable maker, to deal with the death diving baby killers.) On the ground, they're slow, but launching themselves from the water or diving from the air, deadly.

Remember to stay away from any body of water during the migration season. That cute water feature in your backyard could be the death of you if walk out to see what all the noise is? Pierced by a penguin isn't a pretty way to go out, yet thousands perish that way twice a year. Remember to be careful this season, stay away from the water, and look up.


This message is a Public Service Announcement brought to you by FANCO Industries. Producers of Radio's With Knobs. 

[ChrisSmolinski]

I suggest surrounding your yard with trenches. In a pinch, they can be turned into moats. Alligators find penguins delicious.

[Pigmeat]

I suggest surrounding your yard with trenches. In a pinch, they can be turned into moats. Alligators find penguins delicious.

That's no good. There's not enough gators to hold them off. Why, the antenna fields of WRMI used to be full of gators. These day's they're a penguin paradise. Penguins can gang up on gators rendering your moat, moot. Moats create more penguin habitat.

That hippo that was running loose in the swamps out back of Tampa a few years back suggests possibilities. A hippo could trample them to death while scooping the surplus up in it's gargantuan mouth to deal with later.

If penguins ever get established in the Great Lakes, I feel sorry for George Zeller. Hippos won't range that far north, while you can find penguins at the Equator. The Great Lakes are doomed.

[skeezix]

If they make it up to the Great Lakes area, I've got a grill & a smoker all ready for 'em. In a pinch the oven can do.

[Pigmeat]

Ernst Shackleton's men were forced to eat them while stranded in Antarctica waiting for Ernst to get back with help from the South Georgia whaling stations. To a man they reported they were the foulest tasting fowl they'd ever encountered.

[Josh]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm69G0IYHsM

[Pigmeat]

The penguins at the Cape of Good Hope are being disturbed by what's thought to be a man-made reason. Look for oil prices to spike as they begin to take out tankers passing the Cape from the Mideast, Malaysia, and Indonesia in revenge. We should have never gave up on whale oil for petroleum.

[ThaDood]

Um... Gettin' back earlier to what Chris mentioned about alligators, wouldn't it be better to eat the alligators? I understand that's some sweet meat there.

[Pigmeat]

The tail is pretty good, we used to eat gator when I went to Louisiana to visit my sister.

[Josh]

I had gator jerky and it tasted about like the typical toy rubber gator.

[Skipmuck]

My one trip to Florida in 1991 was a good one....being a seafood lover, I had to try the Cajun Blackened Alligator tail at a place called Auntie Catfish' on the Atlantic coast. It was very tasty in a reptilian sort of way.....a bit chewy!

[Pigmeat]

The penguins that occupied WRMI's antenna farm in Okeechobee, FL. used Hurricane Ian's winds to lift off for their flight towards Antarctica. The guy wires were so stressed from their roosting the antennas collapsed from the rebound effect of them taking off.

[Molvania Poacher]

Penguin jerky?

https://jasperfforde.com/goliath/penguin.html

[Pigmeat]

Plagiarism! FANCO will take that fraud to court! We've been in the penguin and catfish on a stick business for nearly 20 years.