I spent the evening watching "Walker: Texas Ranger"

[Pigmeat]

I never watched when it was in it's original run. It's possibly the most surreal television comedy I've seen since "Green Acres" and "The Adventures of Pete and Pete".

Is their anything Chuck Norris can't do?

[Zoidberg]

I never watched when it was in it's original run. It's possibly the most surreal television comedy I've seen since "Green Acres" and "The Adventures of Pete and Pete".

Yeah, but Walker still couldn't beat Barnaby Jones.  Buddy Ebsen's schtick included:

• Breaking into people's houses, rummaging through their fridge and drinking milk right out of the carton before putting it back; and
• Shooting the guns out of the bad guys' hands from 100 yards away with a hip shot from his snub nose revolver.

Throughout high school my brother and I watched Barnaby Jones, just waiting for Buddy to pull the hat trick: combining the 100 yard hip shot while drinking milk from the carton with the other hand.  Never happened, alas.

Is their anything Chuck Norris can't do?

He can't out-Trump Trump for outrageous Texican paranoid hyperbole.  Even our gubner Gimp "Jade Helm" Abbott can outdo Chuck while pulling wheelies around Austin.

[Pigmeat]

Give credit where credit is due, "Barnaby Jones" was a spin off of "Cannon". Frank taught Barnaby everything he knew.

Not only could Frank make the one hundred yard snub-nosed hand shot, he could run down young, in shape criminals thirty years younger than he was. Not bad for guy who topped out at 5'7" and over 300 lbs on short stubby legs.The man was an athletic wonder, hurdling car hoods and fences.

My house was where everyone hung out as my Grandpa didn't give sh!t what we did as long as we didn't burn the place down. "Cannon" was required watching.

Back to Chuck, I didn't realize he wrote and performed the theme to "Walker"? Listening to it made me wonder how many concussions he had as stuntman?

I think Chuck is pushing 80. Wheelies and roundhouse kicks could overload his Depends.

BTW, how is Texas doing under U.N. rule?

[ff]

Back to Chuck, I didn't realize he wrote and performed the theme to "Walker"? Listening to it made me wonder how many concussions he had as stuntman?

Yeah, a virtuoso, he ain't.     And to add my normal irrelevance - being a radio nut from a very early age I would've killed to have William Conrad's voice.  I think I used to watch Cannon just to HEAR him talk.  God - my leg gets wet just thinking about that voice!

[Pigmeat]

He was huge radio star. He did the radio version of "Gunsmoke" in the role of Matt Dillon.

If you've ever seen promo pics of him done up in his Gunsmoke outfit, you can see why he never made the transition to television.

Did I mention Chuck was playing an illegal alien in one of the episodes I watched? A couple of bottles of "Just For Men" and even the Mexicans were fooled.

[Zoidberg]

BTW, how is Texas doing under U.N. rule?

We're trying to keep the blue helmet pedos away from the kids.  Texas teachers don't like the competition for scarce resources.  Fortunately we can call ex-gubner Trick Perry back to man the machine guns after his campaign fizzles.

[Pigmeat]

You mean he hasn't quit already?

A Texan gettin' whupped by a New Yorker sporting a dead beaver on his head, it just ain't right.

I've got to think Jim Hogg is spinning in his grave. Ima,too. LBJ is probably getting a kick out of it, but Lyndon always had an odd sense of humor. Did he ever show you his scar?

[Zoidberg]

Did he ever show you his scar?

Yeah, unfortunately, during a staff meeting in the toilet while he was taking a dump and ordering some new slacks.  Who'd have guessed back then LBJ would turn out to be one of the least embarrassing politicians out of Texas.

[Pigmeat]

Tell me about it.

Do you remember the "Great Beagle Blowup"? That was the first time I ever yelled about the tv news. It went something along the lines of "What! Everybody knows that how you pick up a beetle dog!"

I got a beagle for my birthday that year. I named it Lyndon. My Red Hot Republican family was mortified.

[Zoidberg]

Do you remember the "Great Beagle Blowup"?

Sure do.  Never understood the brouhahahaha.  If Dog didn't intend beagles to be picked up that way She wouldn't have put handles on their heads.  Or for kids to tie knots in Snoopy's ears so he'd look like a wounded soldier.