A night in what they spell "gaol" and an appearance before a judge. Use an alias.
However, if you manage to drag said policeman around the block, get the helmet, and not get pinched, your membership is assured. Easy as the proverbial pie.
If you don't have a valet, I'll let you borrow Fansome. The man's brain literally throbs with ideas due to his intake of fish. At times I think he's part penguin.