Al, I have a serious question for you.

[Pigmeat]

I'm getting feelers from both the Democrat and Republican Parties about getting into the race. As far as I know, no pirate radio type has ever run for the Presidency. If I do win the nomination of either party, will you be my Vice-Presidential candidate?

If we win, there will be chicks and beer. Just ask Bill Clinton.

[Pigmeat]

Here's the campaign plan in case you're still not sure, Al. We print up a bunch of t-shirts, bumper stickers and sweatshirts with the logo "So Easy Even A Hare Brain Could Do It. Martin - Fansome 2016."

We hit the road in an old schoolbus with "No Further" painted on the front. We hit every major flea market and swap meet in the swing states, campaigning and passing out the swag while doing a little song and dance. You with your banjolele, me playing the kazoo and doing some yodeling. I'll chase a midget dressed like Trump around the bus with a broom, while you pass the hat.

What do you think of "Don't Be A Dumb Bunny, Vote For The Whole Hog!" as a slogan?

[Pigmeat]

Al, our midget problem is solved! Marco Rubio is going to be available. He's got a "Small Hands Trump" bit that is a killer!

It looks like we're going to be Republicans this cycle, if you don't find that too repellent.

Any ideas on how to deal with the Canklesaur in the fall once we secure the nomination?

[Pigmeat]

I announce my possible candidacy for President and Putin quits Syria mere hours later. Hmmm........

Coincidence, I think not. Rally the Grande' Armee', Al, we're marching on Moscow. Bring penguins, we're stocking the Caspian with the beasts. They'll reproduce, swim up the Volga, forming a venomous wall keeping the Russians trapped to the east. The Iranians won't be able to move north to assist the Russians, for fear of the well-groomed little killers lurking on the beaches.

Isn't geopolitics swell? No wonder Teddy Roosevelt being President was "The most fun I ever had." I'm having a grand old time and I haven't been sworn in yet.

[John Poet]

Here's the campaign plan in case you're still not sure, Al. We print up a bunch of t-shirts, bumper stickers and sweatshirts with the logo "So Easy Even A Hare Brain Could Do It. Martin - Fansome 2016."

We hit the road in an old schoolbus with "No Further" painted on the front. We hit every major flea market and swap meet in the swing states, campaigning and passing out the swag while doing a little song and dance. You with your banjolele, me playing the kazoo and doing some yodeling. I'll chase a midget dressed like Trump around the bus with a broom, while you pass the hat.

What do you think of "Don't Be A Dumb Bunny, Vote For The Whole Hog!" as a slogan?

Sounds like a winner to me!

BTW, there's another midget  who might be available for that Trumpette gig, if he's not in jail again.

[John Poet]

I'm getting feelers from both the Democrat and Republican Parties about getting into the race. As far as I know, no pirate radio type has ever run for the Presidency.

No, they only ran for the presidency of N.A.M.B.L.A.

but that doesn't separate the men from the boys...

[Pigmeat]

Here's the campaign plan in case you're still not sure, Al. We print up a bunch of t-shirts, bumper stickers and sweatshirts with the logo "So Easy Even A Hare Brain Could Do It. Martin - Fansome 2016."

We hit the road in an old schoolbus with "No Further" painted on the front. We hit every major flea market and swap meet in the swing states, campaigning and passing out the swag while doing a little song and dance. You with your banjolele, me playing the kazoo and doing some yodeling. I'll chase a midget dressed like Trump around the bus with a broom, while you pass the hat.

What do you think of "Don't Be A Dumb Bunny, Vote For The Whole Hog!" as a slogan?

Sounds like a winner to me!

BTW, there's another midget  who might be available for that Trumpette gig, if he's not in jail again.

I thought about him, but there are rumors that he might be a convicted felon. That puts him in the discard pile for now.

[Pigmeat]

Things do change quickly in politics. With Cruz's uptick and Bernie's wins, both parties want me to cool my jets for awhile. I find it very hard to contain my rage after such treatment. That's why I'm asking you fine folks to support George Papoon III for President, the only logical choice.

Papoon for President! Trey's not insane!