A couple of weeks ago the wife came home with a two kittens, demons in feline form, we'll call them Trixie and Norton to protect the semi-innocent. Tuesday night when I'm heading downstairs for my milk and cookies, Trixie latches on to my ankle, and down the steps I go. I'm so beat up I haven't slept more than 10-12 hours since.
Sleep deprivation gives you plenty of time to think, and after a few days your thoughts become focused on certain questions, such as, "Who is behind the Kitten Menace and why?" This is what I've come up with; It has to be a cat lover, it has to be a bird hater, as they are the natural prey of cats, and it has to be someone insanely jealous of me. Putting three and twenty blackbirds together, Pi, and the long list of men who lurk in my shadow, things began to add up. Is one of them a bird hater? Yes, he loathes the noble penguin. Does he like cats? Again, yes, as his social media is full of pics of the fiends in fur. Is he insanely jealous of me? You bet, I used to get all the hot chicks on the FRN which annoyed him to no end, plus I had to relay all of his programming as he couldn't operate a simple transmitter. Who is this fiend? I think you can guess.
Meanwhile, despite this bounder's efforts to dethrone me, I was able to solve a decades old mystery. What became of Amelia Earhart. I know and I'm not telling.
This lack of sleep thing is great. I don't think I'll ever take up snoozing again. No wonder tweakers are so knowledgeable, logical, erudite and fashionably thin. They've discovered the secret to super consciousness, no sleep! Wait until I call George Noory with the good news!
As for the Fiend. I'm watching you and I never sleep. That turkey will never pull a coup on me.
Topic: Kittens, the unknown menace. (Read 969 times)
