Chuck Norris

[ChrisSmolinski]

[Pigmeat]

He's amazing, isn't he?

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I missed "Walker: Texas Ranger" in it's original run. Throughout the first decade of this century I'd see Chuck Norris jokes on the net and wonder, "Why are they making fun of an old washed up actor who hasn't made a movie since the 80's and does late night infomercials for a crappy exercise device?"

In the past couple of years I've caught up on "Walker: Texas Ranger" The man dodges bullets, charms snakes with his special Native American powers, and can leap from plane to plane in mid-air to catch the bad guys. And that's on a slow day.

One question about Chuck's Native American heritage. Do he and Elizabeth Warren belong to the same tribe? They're aren't a lot of naturally blonde, green-eyed Natives out riding the range.

[jFarley]

I just learned that Pokemon is the correct plural form of Pokemon.

Thanks, Chuck!

[ka1iic]

"with his special Native American powers..."

Osiyo,

Hey!!!  Don't go knocking that stuff... <sniff>  It's all we Natives have left... except for that damned BIA BS...

<heh>

Chuck is Cherokee like all the rest of us...  Our skin has been paled and so has our hair and eyes..

Call us 'The Pale Faced Indian'  Written by John D. Loudermilk Originally performed by Marvin Rainwater and then make somewhat popular as 'Cherokee Nation' By The Raiders (crap)

Many other NDN's have recorded the song (Correctly) but why carry this on ehhh?

As for eye color <heh>  Did you know everyone (well most) have BLUE eyes?  It's true and many brown eyed folks are having the brown layer of skin of the eye removed surgically so they can have blue eyes...  It's true, and this goes even more for those stupid Hollywood types...

Meanwhile back to the longhouse.

Wado!!!!!

[Pigmeat]

I've got a Cherokee buddy from NC who makes traditional instruments. He's always cussing "Those damned blue eyed Indians." that pester him with tales of great-great Grandma being an Indian Princess when he's working the craft show and pow-wow circuit. I'm afraid one of these days he's going to plant a chisel between their eyes after a blazing hot weekend show.  You don't want to get him going on Chuck Norris.

I come from an area where everyone and their brother with a northern European last name and and slightly dark skin claims to be "Cherokee". Most of 'em are White folks who don't want to admit they've got a little African ancestry from colonial times when great-great Grandma was an indentured servant who met that nice Fulani fella who worked on the next place as a blacksmith. They used to be referred to as Guineas, but they now mostly call themselves Melungeons after similar groups of folks in Tennessee. Just one of the many so called "Little Races of the South."

They still don't want to admit they're a tiny bit African, even though no one cares these days. Most have been defacto White for a couple of centuries. If your curious as to what many of them look like, think of of Loretta Lynn. She's fairly typical of the way those folks look. Slightly darker than average White folks. If they're a tad browner they look more like my ol' Daddy did. He once got cussed out in Spanish on a honeymoon flight to Puerto Rico with his third wife as an old man across the aisle thought Pap was high-hatting him when he wouldn't answer the questions the old guy was asking him in Spanish. My Uncle and I gave him nine kinds of crap over that one.

There are a lot of Natives who fled here during the Removal Act, protected by their White relatives. They're an amalgamation of various peoples from the Southeast. Those folks had it tough well into the 20th Century. If the feds found out they were Native, it was off to the west with them, and their kids would be sent to Indian schools. The state authorities were much more lenient, it was a, "don't ask don't tell", thing with them.

I grew up with a guy who by looks was Black, but he claimed to be "Black Dutch". His folks told him is looks came from a Portuguese great-Grandfather, even though everyone around here with his last name are either White or the descendants of African slaves those folks owned. (I never said he was smart.) He ran around with some rough ass peckerwood boys of similar intellectual capacity who bought the tale hook, line and sinker. He was a character. I think the "Uncle Ruckus" character on "The Boondocks" animated show, was borrowed from guys like him and the lies their folks told them. A sad fact of life in the South.

[ka1iic]

Ha Ha Ha... great stuff... Pigmeat  luv it and it brings back memories for me...  tnx om...

I remember hearing many such tales at NDN group meetings (on private property <ahum>).

In the Northeast things were kinda sorta different but many of the natives that tried to get jobs in the local mills couldn't get jobs because that were native.  Then they caught on...  they stopped calling themselves 'NDN''s and started calling themselves the 'n' word... and guess what?  They got their jobs every time... 

Leaving folks like me to say... "What the hell is the difference"?

As for blue eyes... Well being NDN or not has to deal with maternal birth and not paternal.  That's where the blue eyes show up.  Daddy can be any blue eyed race and momma can be a full breed NDN and they can have a blue eyed child and that child would be a(excuse the reference) half breed NDN.  Able to join his or her momma's tribe...  Blood quanta has a lot to do with it too.

And of course there are a lot of 'white' people that are 'given' membership in a Tribe...  That really pisses the average native off.

The Government has me listed as 2 or more races...  which proves just how much the Government knows    I don't belong to any Tribe... been asked but no dice...  Have you seen what most rez's look like?  If you go to a bank for a home improvement loan you won't get it because the Tribe owns the house not you... etc etc etc  besides... have you ever eaten government cheese?  hah!

Hell I'm a rogue hell raiser and enjoy every minute of it...  plan to stay that way until I go toes up...  Labels are just that...  more BS than any herd of bulls ever produced...

It's not what you are but who you are that matters...

I still like freaking folks out with those NDN spooky ways... 

End of rant...

May everyone have a great day and a better tomorrow...

[Pigmeat]

Dad worked as an electrician when he was young. Went out to the oil patch in Oklahoma and Texas. In Oklahoma he didn't have many problems, lots of mixed Native-White folks there, no one paid much attention to the way he looked.

When he got to Texas it was different, everyone thought he was a giant Mexican until he opened his mouth and that Gomer Pyle twang came out. He got the nickname "Pedro" out there, or "Pee-dro" as everyone back here pronounced it.

When he got back from that honeymoon trip and told the tale, my Uncle gets this grin on his face and says "It was natural mistake Pee-dro".  Then the fight broke out. They were too old to hurt each other, but heart attacks were a possibility.

The old man got married again when the third wife died. He was pushing 80 and married a woman who was just a few years older than I was. She sent him to his reward in under three years.

I'm glad Mom got custody of me. The old man and I would have went at it hammer and tongs. Too much ammo in the closet that was his past for a natural born wiseass like me to pass on.

[ka1iic]

I hear you talking... me and my Dad didn't always see eye to eye most of the time.

Now here's one you can chew on for awhile:

These scientist guys say that all of mankind originated from Africa and the 'proof' is a few crusty old bones they found.  Let's put that one on the table and play with it a bit.

Iff we all did come from Africa then we all have African blood in us...  Think about it...


I'm damned sure my daddy was a bit African... a cannibal too, cause he never saw a woman that he wouldn't e...  Oh wait a minute... I can't go there on this list...  shucks... ;-)

Now for a tune...

They're rioting in Africa...
There's strife in Iran
There's hurricanes in Florida
And Texas needs rain.

The whole world is festering
with unhappy souls
The French hate the Germans
the Germans hate the Poles

Italians hate Yugoslavs
South Africans hate the Dutch

And I don't like anybody very much!

But we can be happy and thankful and proud
Cause mans been endowed with a mushroom shaped cloud
And we know for certain that some lovely day
Someone will set the spark off
And we will all be blown away...

"The Kingston Trio" (Live)

Have a great day and a better tomorrow!
 

[skeezix]

Dad worked as an electrician when he was young.

 He got the nickname "Pedro" out there, or "Pee-dro" as everyone back here pronounced it.

Your Dad?
https://www.hfunderground.com/wiki/Pedro

[Pigmeat]

Dad was darker and wore a DA. That guy has a tighter version of the curly locks that deserted me way back when. I always thought it was male pattern baldness, but now I think it may have been a Commie plot?

What's left is still black. It looks like that guy got the part that requires Grecian Formula. Woe unto you, Arnie!

When I used to grow my hair out when I was young, it was so heavy and wavy, I actually had a few weedheads say to me over the years, "Man! How did you get the dreadlocks?" When I'd tell 'em "It grows that way", a couple actually got pissed thinking I was holding out on the identity of a some stylist who could do dreadlocks. Yup, I was bogarting the only stylist in the mid-70's upper South who could do dreads. That old time Mexican weed used to produce some serious paranoia in heavy users.

I used to get into some knockdown, drag-out fight with rednecks and peckerwoods out to get some "hippy hair" in those days. All guys with long hair in that region did, unless they were back to the land transplants. I felt sorry for those folks, terms like "mellow out" doesn't work with some good ol' boy determined on kicking your ass and screwing your girlfriend.

It was guys like us the term "longhaired redneck" was coined for. We weren't afraid to fight with those woodhicks and creekers.