Young Porkchop called to wish me a Merry Christmas when he informed me of you tangling with a bunch of stick wielding penguins at an ice arena in the Tampa Bay region this past Columbus Day. He said you still owe him for bail. I told hm to get in line as you still owed me for those women's Mormon drawers. Porkchop wanted to know why you wore Mormon ladies drawers, but told him it was a long and sordid story. He think it's side effect of that gator swallowing you.
A) Why can't you leave those little harmless birds alone? and B) Why won't you pay your debts?