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Topics - Pigmeat

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 19
1
Huh? / Julian Assange arrested by UK police...
« on: April 11, 2019, 1023 UTC »
I wonder if he's got the "Doc Martin Treatment" yet? Be strong Julie, those UK prisons aren't a walk in the back garden of the Ecuadoran Embassy. Every guy in that jailhouse will be looking take a shot or five at you to up their rep.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. Congrats!

2
Huh? / Al, when it rains, it pours!
« on: April 05, 2019, 0810 UTC »
I had to wait for the one twin, Mackenzie's, divorce to come through. (She was married to a pop-eyed, bald-headed geek.) She cleaned up. The father of the other twin cousin gave me a bunch of gold tablets, they must weigh a ton. The Church wants me to decipher them, but the only thing I can make out is something about "I will not scratch up Joe Smith's tablets" front and back with the initials "A.F.". I'm going to sell them on the Omani market to be smuggled into India where the price is through the roof. Why heck, I might have enough pocket change to fix Kellyanne Conway's face after this deal, that poor thing.

Al, this marriage thing ain't half bad. You don't know any real girls who might take you up on it, do you?

3
Huh? / Al, Belinda called...
« on: April 01, 2019, 0729 UTC »
says she wants you back and wants you to join her on tour in Ulaanbaatar. Let me know how it goes when you get back, Mr. Carlisle.

4
Huh? / Jerry Lee Lewis survives minor stroke, is reported to...
« on: March 04, 2019, 0959 UTC »
be grabbing nurses asses. You can't kill "The Killer".

5
Huh? / Al, I finally saw that video footage of flying Penguins
« on: February 18, 2019, 1506 UTC »
you go on about. You were right, not since the spaghetti tree's of Italy have I seen such a natural wonder. You can always count on the BBC. My apologies.

6
Huh? / You ever have a day when...
« on: January 20, 2019, 2139 UTC »
you just don't feel like poking Fansome's with a stick?

7
Huh? / Killer Whales breeding in Puget Sound!
« on: January 18, 2019, 1228 UTC »
Postpone the baby fur seal hunt for a couple of weeks and load the auto-cannons on our P-38's, Mr. Fansome, we've got work to do. If these Leviathans become accustomed to freshwater, no river, creek, or spring will be safe for swimming! Think of Belinda!

8
Huh? / CES this year...
« on: January 12, 2019, 0110 UTC »
I wonder if a certain member of this board is out there complaining about poor wireless and who stole his teeth?

9
Huh? / Got a new screensaver pic...
« on: December 23, 2018, 1739 UTC »
Two young penguins, both cackling, as one points to something going on outside of the frame with it's wing.

Has anyone heard from Al?

10
Huh? / Careful Al...
« on: December 19, 2018, 2006 UTC »
I saw a comet last night. Put on your heavy duty protective gear.  We can't have you getting bopped in the head wearing nothing but your foil lined fez. It took quite a beating during the recent Geminid meteor shower.

BTW, I like your new survival blanket muu-muu. Very chic and sturdy.

11
Huh? / Sorry about your foot & shoe, Al.
« on: December 03, 2018, 2355 UTC »
I just saw the footage on the news of that 8 foot gator trying to get you. Perhaps if you bathed more often they wouldn't be drawn to you?

12
Huh? / Another day, another Mars landing.
« on: November 27, 2018, 0358 UTC »
This one is to excavate penguin burrows for the Tesla/FANCO colonization scheme. (Penguin down being the most efficient insulator in the known universe.) Time to thaw that chunk of rock out!

13
Huh? / In the drugstore yesterday...
« on: November 06, 2018, 1244 UTC »
waiting on a prescription and wandering the aisles to kill time. What do I run across? Alfani support socks and no skid walkers.

I'm impressed Al, in less than three years of residing in old folks homes, you identified key niches and filled them. You're on your way to becoming the Giorgio Armani of the upscale geriatric market. Kudos, Al, kudos!

And you guys make fun of Al. Shame on you!

14
Huh? / Watching the Khashoggi updates...
« on: October 20, 2018, 2103 UTC »
They change by the minute. I'm giving it a couple of more days until the Saudi's claim, "The dog ate him."

15
Bacon, BBQ, Beef, And More / Mingua Beef Jerky...
« on: October 14, 2018, 1200 UTC »
The pride of Kentucky and the best commercial jerky on the market. Yes, it's expensive, but once you get taste of it, you won't care. The Mingua Brothers raise their own cattle and use slices of prime cuts for their product. Google "Mingua Beef Jerky" and order straight from the farm if you can't find it in your area. You can thank me later.

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