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« on: August 09, 2022, 0225 UTC »
The penguins are getting ready to start their migration back from the Arctic to the Antarctic soon. Are you prepared? Do you have heavy steel helmets to protect your family from low flyers, shot dense enough to discourage the angriest Emperor penguins as they dive at terminal velocity, their dense, hardened, depleted uranium beaks aimed directly at your eyes or the soft spot on your newborn baby's head? (I recommend 10 gauge buck and ball, lead only, from that gauge of gun from any reputable maker, to deal with the death diving baby killers.) On the ground, they're slow, but launching themselves from the water or diving from the air, deadly.
Remember to stay away from any body of water during the migration season. That cute water feature in your backyard could be the death of you if walk out to see what all the noise is? Pierced by a penguin isn't a pretty way to go out, yet thousands perish that way twice a year. Remember to be careful this season, stay away from the water, and look up.
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