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Topics - Pigmeat

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Huh? / Stopped by to check on a friend today.....
« on: October 27, 2016, 0146 UTC »
Nothing but a butchered pine tree and a note on the door saying, "Gone to Maine."

I wonder what he's up to now? You think breaking the internet twice in one week would be enough hijinks for anyone.

Huh? / Al, tell me your opinion on Mima Mounds,
« on: October 15, 2016, 0625 UTC »
good lookin'?

Huh? / Al, how is the "Help Kim Get New Bling Fund" coming along?
« on: October 04, 2016, 1441 UTC »
I'm still in shock that poor girl was robbed in the rough aristocratic neighborhoods of Paris. I hope we can help her.

I am confused about one thing. With the sheer mass of her hips and buttocks, how were the miscreants able to escape it's gravitational pull? Reggie Bush was one of the great athletes of his era and it got everything but his fillings before he was pulled loose by a passing Michael Moore. Isn't Kanye ponying up for the dense silicone she needs in her rotator's to act as gyroscope to keep her from falling over as she walks? Sometimes I think all that guy cares about is fish sticks.

Huh? / Al, about your permanent record card.
« on: September 21, 2016, 1840 UTC »
I've been told by sources it's going to be part of the next Wikileaks dump. Assange wants a regular supply of bean burritos drone delivered to the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. Extra sour cream and guac or else.

I told his reps to stuff it, but I thought I'd check with you first? There's going to be a big dump when he eats week's old burritos regardless of his threats.

Huh? / Al, is it true what they're saying about Amelia?
« on: September 13, 2016, 0803 UTC »
That she and Fred where left stranded on an island to be ravaged by equatorial penguins?

Huh? / The main problem with SW pirates today.
« on: September 01, 2016, 1026 UTC »
No Al Jolson.

Huh? / Ninety four light years......
« on: August 31, 2016, 1151 UTC »
What is that, a day trip for your species, Al?

Huh? / Happy Birthday Belinda!
« on: August 17, 2016, 1117 UTC »
Beat you to it, Al. Now she and Jane are mine. Courtney Love awaits you, Penguini.

Huh? / Al, you need a Bell and Howell Tac-Light.
« on: August 15, 2016, 0205 UTC »
I just saw it on TV. It has a CW setting. You can contact your home planet!

Be careful, the emergency setting looks as if it could induce seizures. You don't want to fall off the roof mid-message.

BTW, it has reliable knob technology to access the battery compartment. Only 19.99!

Huh? / Long lived Greenland sharks.
« on: August 12, 2016, 0203 UTC »
Up to 500 years according to a Yahoo article. We need to kill these beasts off and soon. They're probably the reason the Viking colony in Greenland collapsed and the Thule Culture disappeared about the same time. The poor souls were eaten by the parents and grandparents of these foul beasts. No doubt the methane from their ancient gaseous guts are the real reason the Greenland Ice Sheet is melting.

Man the boats, Mr. Fansome and bring along your Japanese mini-sub. We may have to go under the ice to blast the things. The things we do for humanity.

Huh? / Al, a whale spotted frolicking that predates the Titanic.
« on: August 05, 2016, 0038 UTC »
She probably the one who pushed the iceberg into the great ship, the bad tempered beast. No doubt the the granddaughter of the great white whale that rammed the Essex and inspired "Moby Dick". Load up the double hulled war canoe, it's off to the whaling grounds to put an end to great leviathans once and for all.

Bring plenty of Spam, it's worth it's weight in gold in the Pacific Islands. We should be able to hire several crews for a couple of cans. This is war!

Huh? / Al, have you heard about Pablo Escobar's hippos?
« on: July 31, 2016, 0722 UTC »
We need to get a few dozen for python control. If they can handle African pythons and South American anacondas, scrawny Burmese pythons shouldn't be a problem for them.

We could offer hippo rides to the snowbirds during the winter. We'll make a killing. Hippo polo for the hoity-toity set in Palm Beach seems like a natural, too. Trump on a hippo with a mallet chasing the illegals who work for him with his buddy Vlad, who wouldn't pay to see that?

Huh? / The Go-Go's on Kimmel.
« on: July 28, 2016, 0529 UTC »
Huh, Jane Wiedlin is still wearing the earrings I gave her when I stole her away from Jerry Dammers in '81. Rockin' the high-heeled sneakers, too. She's still looking good, those Lebanese girls don't age.

Belinda has lost her voice and has Grandma hands, ewwww. Why didn't they just keep the camera on Jane?

Huh? / Psychic "Miss Cleo" dies at 53.....
« on: July 27, 2016, 0059 UTC »
I wonder if she saw it coming?

Huh? / Al, you better sit down for this.
« on: July 26, 2016, 0436 UTC »
The Go's-Go's are going to be on Jimmy Kimmel later this week!

I hope I didn't kill the old coot with that news.

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