Topics

211

Huh? / Ice sheet the size of Delaware ready to break free from Antarctica.

« on: January 08, 2017, 0733 UTC »

I hate these biased headlines. Why is it always "Ice Sheet The Size of Delaware"? Sure Rhode Island gets the occasional mention, but it's almost always Delaware. What's wrong with saying it's an ice sheet the size of Vermont or New Hampshire? Even Long Island would be nice for a change. They're all about the same size. Would throwing a little love towards Connecticut or Massachusetts for slightly larger ice sheets be too much for these egg head meteorologist and geologists to consider? How about Prince Edward Island for our Canadian neighbors? Who knows ice sheets better than the Canadians? They've got to risk life and limb walking out on ice sheets to club those man-eating baby fur seals before the fiends can reach land.

Ice sheets the size of Delaware, my ass. What's next, "Cows Bigger than Shetland Ponies Spotted in Nebraska"? Help stop the Delawarian media bias and alarmism while there's still a chance. I thank you.

212

Huh? / Boy, the Grim Fansome sure picked the wrong time....

« on: December 29, 2016, 0417 UTC »

to go on vacation. Listing Zsa-Zsa's ex's alone could take weeks.

They're piling up, Al. You might want to open the window and let things air out a bit before you get started.

213

North American Shortwave Pirate / Unid 5150 approx. 1330 UTC.

« on: December 24, 2016, 1420 UTC »

Well I've got a guess as to who it might be, but due to rain and thick cloud cover the dusk to dark Xmas lights in the neighborhood are still on and kicking out a ton of hash. Got some voice when I switched to SSB, but the noise was too heavy to comfortably listen at moderate volume in either mode. Without the local noise it would have been an easy catch.


Ancient Grundig G-5 with duct taped hinged battery flap, w/ fed w/ Rg-8 going into about 60-70 feet of wire out the window.

214

Huh? / Meat and potato pie launched into space via weather balloon?

« on: December 19, 2016, 0105 UTC »

I heard something on the radio about it driving home tonight. Where's Al and what did he have for dinner?

215

Huh? / Al, is true you turned down Stanford and Duke for CalTech

« on: December 08, 2016, 2214 UTC »

when you found out the loonies who established those places required the study of psychic phenomena?

I've never been to Stanford, but I'm often at Duke and more of the science faculty carry Ouija Boards than they do laptops and tablets. I suspected they have Magic 8 Balls and Tarot Cards in their totes, but I wasn't looking. I don't need to be startled by a Physics prof carrying a freshly sacrificed chicken.

I wonder how their Alchemy Programs rank? Not as good as Oxford or the University of Paris is my bet.

216

Equipment / Sony 7600....

« on: December 03, 2016, 1934 UTC »

I'm in the market for a new portable and this one is currently at the top of the list. Three questions, can it handle a forty meter dipole w/o overloading, what are is effective bandwidths, and how well does it demodulate and lock on to ssb signals? Thanks!

217

Huh? / The penguin solution.

« on: December 01, 2016, 1303 UTC »

I worry about Al and his fear of the beasts. For years I've worked in my spare time trying to come up with the perfect animal to cull the population. I was down to wolverines or cats when I was reading a study of the spread of human population of the Pacific Islands and the impact that it had on the flora and fauna. There were diverse species of birds, some monstrous others a myriad of new species descended from a handful of birds swept by winds to these islands. They all disappeared within generations of human arrival.

Now, no fool except for addled scientists and Elon Musk would want to inhabit such a place as Antarctica, so the majority of humanity was out. However it turns out that rats brought aboard the vessels of these early travelers were responsible for the end of these many bird species. Rats breed quickly, are social animals and most importantly, they burrow. The solution was scrambling around Capt. Ron's discarded box, Norway brown rats. They're adapted to the cold, they can burrow deep enough to survive the fierce winters, and they eat bird eggs like Al eats pistachios. From my calculations penguin colony collapse should occur within three years of introduction.

We do need tenders for the rats, people who behave and smell like rats, and speak the squeal. That's why I've reached out to certain former members of the Rodent Revolution to join in the effort, who've agreed under duress. Many of them once said it would "Be a cold day before we have anything to do with you and Fansome." That day has arrived. To the boats and careful with the rat chow!

218

Huh? / Al, about our deals with The Donald.

« on: November 30, 2016, 1919 UTC »

He heard what a bang-up job we did with McGonigle and Murphy. He wants us to lead his followers through the most heavily Irish wards of Boston, New York, and Chicago with potato cannons shouting "Blight Power!" while firing spuds and cans of Guinness at the residents as we drive them towards the boats where Jeff Sessions and his special slack-jawed flying squadron will take over.

Don texted something about "Lets get rid of the wurst, first!" I thought he meant brats and Germans, but it turns out Don's a poor speller and a Heiny to boot. I couldn't talk him in to deporting himself, but I'm working on it.

219

Huh? / Al, do we cross the Florida Straits tonight...

« on: November 26, 2016, 1631 UTC »

or do the decent thing and wait until the funeral is finished before taking over? If we're going to the funeral I'm going to have to take my charcoal suit to the cleaners. Remember, it's red tie and socks for the Jefe.

220

Huh? / Wrapping up the Fansome Files.

« on: November 24, 2016, 0056 UTC »

About the foil. It's been established you started using it regularly as a head covering and hat liner the mid-70's, Al. I need to narrow the cause down. Was it due to laser beams in your dreams, chickens, trains, or a combination of the three?

221

Huh? / Al, what do you have against beavers?

« on: November 15, 2016, 2009 UTC »

Your client state, Argentina, is preparing to wipe out one hundred thousand of the cute lil' things. You're the one who sold them to the Argies as sure fire method to keep penguins and Nazi's in check. The Nazi's are either dead or cloned, and there are more penguins in Tierra del Fuego than there were to begin with.

We need to get those beavers up here pronto, before the wall goes up. There are some bad hombres in Argentina out for beaver blood.

222

Huh? / Leon Russell dies in his sleep...

« on: November 13, 2016, 1847 UTC »

That's about all I know, it was just announced on the radio. RIP Leon.

When I was a young horndog, a mix tape containing Leon's "Lady Blue", Etta James "Sunday Kind of Love", and Aaron Neville's "Tell It Like It Is" in a row was all you needed to seduce any female from 18 to 800. Thanks for the assists, Leon!

223

Huh? / Vote early, vote often,

« on: November 08, 2016, 1424 UTC »

Vote Fansome!

224

Huh? / Al, what's a woggin?

« on: November 06, 2016, 1428 UTC »

I've heard they're like penguins but larger with a wider range.

225

Huh? / Al, is it true Belinda thinks she's.....

« on: October 29, 2016, 0059 UTC »

as cool as Kim Deal? I heard she put the Dandy Warhol's up to spreading the tale. Was she pixelated perhaps, struck repeatedly with a divine hammer or a cannonball? Or is the old girl doughty, wondering "where is my mind"? Any way you cut there's no reason for her to be such a debaser.

As cool as Kim Deal? Hah!